I'm sitting here at midnight, my head full of thoughts...emotions, all swimming around in chaos. 'Where does the time go?' The age old question pops up again and again. I'm trying so desperately to hold on to these moments, or at least I think I am, only to wake another morning where I find myself stepping once again into this race called life that most everyone seems to be in. I have a mind I cannot slow, a body I cannot still, a house I cannot maintain, and relationships that I somehow lack the time to invest in. I think I'm not alone.
Today my family celebrated a little girls' 4th birthday. Our sweet n sassy Gianni girl. :) And I wanted to soak in every last detail. I'm always torn when it comes to manning the camera. Do I sit back and observe capturing the moments in my head? Do I actively participate becoming a part of those moments? Or do I pick up my canon and capture each moment on camera? See, I love taking pictures! It makes me think creatively and I love looking for angles and cementing each moment in time. More so, I enjoy looking back on those moments that jog my ever fleeting mommy memory and allow them to stir up such wonderfully vivid emotions. But in doing so, in grabbing that little peice of technology, it almost feels like putting on a mask. You see, once my eye is behind that lense, I'm no longer a part of that moment. I'm outside of it, looking in.
It's been a long time since I last took pictures. But the memories from that last time until this are just a blurr. Time that has literally just flown by. So today I picked up the camera, that little peice of technology, like most other peices of technology that I have a love hate relationship with, and I documented a small part of a story, our story. And you know what?...it felt good...or feels good now. Looking back...slowing down...doing whatever it takes to hold onto these moments. Making memories. Feeling blessed. Thanking God for days like today...everyday.
1 comments:
Wow. You explained exactly, to the "t" how I feel. Each and every day. And far too often I get wrapped up in cleaning and computer time and realize I wasted too much precious time. Time I should have been spending with my angels. And I too have a love/hate relationship with technology. Somedays I want to just move way out into the country and be done with this fast paced life. Oh I could go on and on...but thank you for sharing this special day with me. And apple bobbing? Love it!
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